After 4 years with the same person, I am now single. This is odd for me since this is the first time I have been single in 4 years. That is a very long time. And before I was even in my recent relationship, I never did much dating. I didn't have many suitors either. I am currently dating and I would like to say that it is not easy. How is it possible to like two guys at once and have at least three other guys interested in you that you could care less about even talking to nonetheless dating? Well that's kind of the boat that I am in.
I don't know how to handle this. It's hard enough juggling conversations with multiple people. Not to mention actually going on dates with them. Add in the fact that I have a 2 year old son and 2 jobs. Holy Fuck! How do I even have time?! Somehow I'm making the time...
I've got to be honest though. I definitely am starting to prefer one guy over the other. He's very much affectionate and I have never had that. It's a nice change. Things are relaxed and carefree and COMFORTABLE. I have one known this guy for a couple weeks and I am already so comfortable with him. I am scared out of my fucking mind!! I am not used to feeling this way. Feeling so connected to someone so soon. Feeling warm and comfortable. Feeling like I could talk to and see him every day for the rest of my life and not get sick of it. What is WRONG with me?! What happened to the emotionless robot that I once was once upon a time?
For those of you wondering what happened to the boyfriend and me, I will not go into it. All you need to know is that I lost weight and became super confident and decided I was done with bull shit. I deserve everything awesome because let's face it, I am fucking AWESOME!! I am now a hot single mom and I am definitely not hurting for dates. But I still do not know how to date. I never did it before. I've pretty much been a serial monogamist my whole dating life. Except the few hook-ups I've had and those weren't dates and never went anywhere and had no emotional ties involved whatsoever. What do you do when you have emotions? Yes, I am asking about emotions. I'm not used to having them. The fact that I had moved on from my baby's father as soon as I decided to end things tells you how little emotion I have. And now my emotions are leaking through and they want anything they can get their hands on. Someone make it STOP! Emotions are too scary.
I think I went on a tangent far away from my original intention of thus particular blog post. It has also been awhile since I've been part of this blogging game so please forgive my scatter brain. Although, let's face it, I have always been a bit scatter brained with my posts. I'm easing back into this just fine :) I hope you enjoyed reading. I promise to try to be more consistent now. But as I stated earlier, I am a single mom of a toddler working two jobs and dating. I don't know where I'm finding time to do any of that, plus being a blogger. We'll just have to see how well I do with getting back on both horses.
Wish me luck!!!
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