I just had one of the most interesting conversations of my life with my friend Semele*. It was all through texts, so I am able to put it all in here word for word and not fuck it up like I would if it had been a conversation in person. I always forget something when that happens. This is how the conversation went:
Semele: Good Morning.
Me: What's up Semele?!
Semele: A psychic just told me that Douchebag* is my soul mate. =\
Me: Shit. We knew this was going to happen. Can we kill him? Then maybe the universe will change its mind.
Semele: I just don't know what to do. What if I want a different soul mate? Can I switch?
Me: I say yes. It's kinda like when you buy a shirt that you really like and you think is perfect. You take it home and try it on. You look in the mirror and you are horrified. The shirt makes you look like a dirty hobo and you know that if you wear the shirt in public, people will taunt you mercilessly and you'll lose all your friends. So you take it back to the store and exchange it for a top that makes you look like a Greek goddess and can only help to bring more friends/worshippers into your presence.
Semele: Haha I love you so much. So the man I'm looking for is Zeus?
Me: Pretty much. I hear he's available. Hercules had sex with his mom. Wait. That was Oedipus. Damn. We'll just kill Zeus' wife. I'm sure he won't mind.
Semele:Ok. But I'm going to need that spork to do it.
Me: Oh I can totally provide the rusty spork. I've been working on getting it rusty for four years now. It's not really working though. Perhaps using a plastic spork was a bad idea...
At this point Semele decided to call me to tell me just how much she loved me. She also told me that she is at a Coach outlet right now. I was jealous. She told me how much she misses me. I would tell you all of this word for word if I could, but I don't remember exactly what was said. She called me about half an hour ago. I think that's understandable.
*Names have been changed to protect the people involved. Well... She asked me to give her a pseudo name. Douchebag just fit him so well that it didn't make sense to use his real name :)
Friday, April 29, 2011
To advertise or not to advertise
I decided this morning in my sickened stupor, to put ads up on my blog since I have no followers and it couldn't hurt to make a little money. I was disappointed when I read that the only way you can make money by putting ads on your blog is if people click on the ad. This is where the disappointment started. If no one reads my blog, then no one will click on the ad. If no one clicks on the ad, then I don't get money. If I don't get money, then I can't move out of my mom's house. I don't really want to be living at my mom's house until I'm like twenty five or something. So I need money. Money = Freedom. Freedom = Happy Brooke. Doesn't anyone want me to be happy? If the answer is yes, please follow my blog and click on ads when I decide to finally put them on here. If you don't want me to be happy, you can just go f*ck yourself. Or you could try to find it in your heart to help a girl out. After all, girls are incapable of helping themselves. We need big strong men to do everything for us. (My boyfriend is useless in this aspect).
A side note: The ads won't pop up on the screen. They won't be in the middle of the posts. They will just be on the side of my blog, practically not even there. So you should really consider it. Please let me know what you think. At least, if anyone ever reads this.
Update: I am putting up ads anyway. I figured, why the hell not. I can always cancel it if it becomes a hassle and I could really use the money.
A side note: The ads won't pop up on the screen. They won't be in the middle of the posts. They will just be on the side of my blog, practically not even there. So you should really consider it. Please let me know what you think. At least, if anyone ever reads this.
Update: I am putting up ads anyway. I figured, why the hell not. I can always cancel it if it becomes a hassle and I could really use the money.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Magic
My current boyfriend is kind of a nerd. I knew this when we started dating and I chose to stick through it despite his .... weirdness. Of course, I thought he was lying about most of it. I have not seen most of the nerdy things that he claims to do. I have witnessed him playing video games on his phone many times though. He does this any time he is remotely bored. Sadly, this includes around me. I bore him a lot I guess.
One thing that he had claimed doing but I had never witnessed him doing, is playing a game called Magic. I don't know much about this game. I just know that every time he talks about it, my eyes glaze over. He doesn't talk about it very often so the glazing has become a minimum. Well, he had told me when we started dating that he was done playing Magic because he had a girlfriend now and he only played before because he didn't have a life.
He is texting me right now telling me how he is playing Magic. He did this same thing when I talked to him on Monday. Though on Monday he had played it for about ten hours. If I were home right now, I would drag him away from that wretched game and make him go do something more valuable. Like take me to dinner or something. Sadly, I cannot save him because I am two hours away and will be for another week.
I fear that if I do not pull him away from Magic now, he will be caught in its grasp unable to escape. Not even the promise of sex will be enough to drag him away from the highly suspenseful game. (I would be so bored out of my mind playing a game like Magic.) I must find a way to save him from becoming a hermit, holed up in his friend's basement until the zombie apocalypse occurs and a brain eating zombie drags him out of the basement only to eat him.
Oh God!!! His life is over. I've already lost him to zombies. :( Might as well start looking for his replacement. Sorry babe.
One thing that he had claimed doing but I had never witnessed him doing, is playing a game called Magic. I don't know much about this game. I just know that every time he talks about it, my eyes glaze over. He doesn't talk about it very often so the glazing has become a minimum. Well, he had told me when we started dating that he was done playing Magic because he had a girlfriend now and he only played before because he didn't have a life.
He is texting me right now telling me how he is playing Magic. He did this same thing when I talked to him on Monday. Though on Monday he had played it for about ten hours. If I were home right now, I would drag him away from that wretched game and make him go do something more valuable. Like take me to dinner or something. Sadly, I cannot save him because I am two hours away and will be for another week.
I fear that if I do not pull him away from Magic now, he will be caught in its grasp unable to escape. Not even the promise of sex will be enough to drag him away from the highly suspenseful game. (I would be so bored out of my mind playing a game like Magic.) I must find a way to save him from becoming a hermit, holed up in his friend's basement until the zombie apocalypse occurs and a brain eating zombie drags him out of the basement only to eat him.
Oh God!!! His life is over. I've already lost him to zombies. :( Might as well start looking for his replacement. Sorry babe.
First post ever so please don't judge me
I'm not exactly sure how to do this whole blogging thing. I have never really done anything like this before. I was inspired while reading posts on my new favorite website Hyperbole and a Half. The author of that blog is AMAZING. Of course, reading her awesome stories got me thinking. "I can do this too." Then I thought, "Well not really, but I can sure try." So here I am. Trying and somehow failing. Hopefully, I can make this blog amazing in some way at some point. Right now it is totally sucking big time. I apologize for that.
I would tell you some amazing story right now to show you how great my life is and make you intersted in continuing to read my blog. Sadly, I have nothing of import to say... :( This saddens me. I am also, very oddly, tired even though it is only 9:30 pm. This is just sad. My life has become dismal. Tired at 930 when most people are just beginning their nights and having lots of fun. Then again, it is only Thursday. It is a school night or work night for most people! :D I am no longer alone!!! I feel like I just became a part of society!! This is the most accomplished that I have felt all day. I want to hold onto this feeling while I still can. See you later. :)
I would tell you some amazing story right now to show you how great my life is and make you intersted in continuing to read my blog. Sadly, I have nothing of import to say... :( This saddens me. I am also, very oddly, tired even though it is only 9:30 pm. This is just sad. My life has become dismal. Tired at 930 when most people are just beginning their nights and having lots of fun. Then again, it is only Thursday. It is a school night or work night for most people! :D I am no longer alone!!! I feel like I just became a part of society!! This is the most accomplished that I have felt all day. I want to hold onto this feeling while I still can. See you later. :)
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