I have recently come to the conclusion that I am socially awkward. And not just socially awkward, but pretty much socially inept. I just spent the past hour standing outside in the cold with my roommates and a bunch of people that I don't know. I said the total of maybe four sentences. One of them being, "Oops. That wasn't supposed to happen" when I dropped my bottle cap. I pretty much said this to myself, but one of the male-folk there picked up my cap and so assumed that I was talking to him. This did not start a conversation between us. He handed me my cap and promptly looked the other way to talk to someone else. I must radiate social ineptness.
The reason that I was out there in the first place is because they promised me food. Anyone who knows me can tell you that the best way to get me to go somewhere is to promise me that free food will be involved. I was not disappointed. They really did provide the food that they had promised me. Including these hybrid oreos that are part vanilla and part chocolate. I immediately wondered if the oreo was ridiculed in school for being so half and half like that. (I figure it would be the equivalent of having a classmate who is half orange and half purple split right down the middle. The ridicule would never stop.) I thought about saying this out loud. I immediately stopped myself. I tried to picture what would happen if I said this out loud to my peers. It wasn't pretty. The world collapsed around me and everything I held dear was destroyed. I didn't tell them what I was thinking about the oreo.
I found myself stuck even when I was done eating. I couldn't just leave. I couldn't make up some lame excuse about having to study in order to extract myself from this situation. No. I had to stay where I was and wait for everyone else to decide to come inside.
An hour later, my extremities were frozen. (I think extremities is the right word). I was done with the bottle of water I had consumed, I was tired of standing, no one was even bothering to pretend to talk to me anymore, and I kind of had to pee. (I still haven't peed. I hate peeing.) I finally ran for it. I probably looked odd with my flailing limbs, running for my life to the safety of my own house, away from all the strange people that I was determined would kill me then dance around my carcass and then throw me on the grill. I really thought this was going to happen. You would understand if you had been there. It looked like they were preparing for a ritual. They even hid in the carport while they prayed... I think now you understand my fear.
Anyway. Now I am safe in my bedroom typing this post. I think I'm going to end it here though. I need to go look up how to get rid of social awkwardness.
UPDATE: If you relate to this problem, it is a mental illness. Go here. I am looking at it right now. I hope that it can help me cure my illness. If not me, maybe it can cure you.
UPDATE: That website was ridiculous. I don't know how they expect any of that to help. They must be high.
The first thing they tell you to do is force yourself out. They want me to go up to complete strangers and try to talk to them. They want me to say hi to everyone I pass in a grocery store. I CANNOT do this. What do they think is going to happen if I even attempt to do this? I have trouble ordering food without having someone with me that I can look to when my voice fails me. If I have no one with me, the person taking my order better have excellent hearing because I will whisper everything. I don't see how these people expect me to go up to a complete stranger and try to talk to them. If I do that, tiny men are bound to jump out from the shadows and hit me with little pots of gold. Either that or a rapist will jump out of the bushes. They will assume that because I am reaching out and talking to people that it means that I am just asking to be raped by them. This is how most people get in this situation.
The second thing they tell you to do is change your diet. Guess what. I like my food. I am not depressed. I do not need to eat foods that make me less depressed. I am not socially awkward due to depression. I am a happy person. See :D happy!!!
The third thing they tell you to do is to improve your confidence. I don't know how to do this. I had a counselor in middle school that told me to say ten nice things to myself in the mirror every morning. I did just fine. It is not that hard to name ten things. But it's easier to only say one. Improving confidence will not help with talking to strangers that will rape you.
The fourth thing they tell you is to lower stress. Guess what! I have stress but they cause headaches. They do not cause me to be socially awkward. Stress does not make you scared to talk to rapists. Common sense makes you scared to talk to rapists. If you are scared to talk to someone because you think that they are a rapist, you are just being smart. You are not afflicted with a mental illness.
The last thing they tell you to do is see a doctor if all else fails. They don't seem to like doctors. They are prejudiced against doctors and believe that all doctors should be killed. They are terrorists. So do not read the link that I posted. If you did, it is very possible that you are being brainwashed at this very moment. They want you to kill doctors so that when they take over America, there will be no doctors to save us. Trust me, you do not want the doctors to die. So please don't kill them.
No comments:
Post a Comment