I was under the impression that by coming home for the weekend and staying until late Monday night or early Tuesday morning would keep me from being so bored that I started to go crazy. I should have seen the flaws in this plan. I had planned on hanging out with my nerd all weekend and never having to be alone except for a few hours in the morning. I figured I would take those few hours to get my Fiction Writing Project done. Well... That isn't working out.
Flaw #1: My nerd works. He works at a car wash and the weather has been really nice this weekend. Especially today. The sun is shining and there isn't even a hint of chilly wind. This means that he doesn't just work for a couple hours. This means that he works until six or seven o'clock at night.
Flaw # 2: My nerd has parents. And although these parents claim to love me and warn him not to screw things up with me, they are extremely controlling. My nerd is eighteen going on nineteen, but he still lives at home. This means that his parents can still tell him when to come home. Last night we finally got to hang out at six. We went out to dinner and were trying to figure out what we were going to do next. That is when his parents texted him to tell him to come home. We only got to hang out for an hour. At seven I was back at my mom's house wondering what I was going to do.
Flaw #3: I ran out of ideas for my project. For some odd reason, I thought I was going to be able to start working on my project and just keep going until it was done and absolutely perfect. It was pretty to think so. I worked on it for about an hour last night in my boredom after watching Trueblood with my mom and I hit a wall. I ran out of things to correct in my story. Actually, that's a lie. I still have a lot to correct. I couldn't figure out how to fix the rest. I just got stuck... I still don't know how to continue with it. I've been awake for five hours. I have watched four episodes of various hour long shows. I have taken a shower. I have read a page or two worth of posts on Hyperbole and a Half. I have tested myself for ADD. I found out that I am likely to have three different types of ADD, all of them a little scary. I have stared at Facebook. I have stared at my project. I have stared at my job applications. I have talked to my pets.
Flaw #4: Any back-up people that I could hang out with have lives. My sister has school. My mom has work. Most of my friends still have school for another week or work. My other friends are out of town or out of state. I am utterly alone until my sister gets home from school/track practice, until my mom gets off work, possibly until my nerd gets off work.
All of these things are leading to me going crazy. Right now it's just getting close to pulling my hair out crazy, but I think it's getting close to "hallucinating that there are tiny little men all over the place, starting to believe that unicorns and pegasuses and talking beavers and Narnia and Middle Earth and fairies all exist and needing to be institutionalized because I have become so disillusioned with the world that I start to eat my own fingers crazy". I really don't want to hallucinate that there are tiny little men all over the place. Tiny men are scary. Tiny men make me think of Leprechauns. Have you ever seen a Leprechaun? Trust me, you don't want to. They are scary little motherfuckers. They should be avoided at all costs. They will beat you with their gold and it hurts like a bitch.
I need something to do. I am losing my mind to the point where my Facebook status says "So bored that I may start pulling my hair out. I need something to do that doesn't include staring blankly at my Fiction Writing project, writing random things on my blog, reading Hyperbole and a Half, or talking to my pets. If anyone can help me, please let me know. This boredom has to end or I will not live to see tomorrow." I posted this before I started writing this blog. That is just sad.
It just escalated. My friend told me to go for a walk. My response "By myself? What if someone jumps out from behind a bush and rapes me?" I cannot function in this world by myself. I will die if left alone for too long. I even have to remind myself to eat food every now and then so that I don't starve. I reminded myself after it had been two hours since I ate a cup of cottage cheese for breakfast. I ate ten wheat thins. I don't know how to cook.... Oh God. I think I'm going to die. I need to go so that I can prepare my Will in case my life ceases to exist.
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